We're not so different, you and I.

A phrase people say to me fairly often is, "You think you're always right." It's generally made in an acusatory tone after the speaker and I have been discussing something at length. It refers to the fact that I like to argue. I enjoy a good discussion about a variety of topics and I'm not afraid to disagree with others, no matter how firmly held their beliefs may be. It's been a bit of a trend in this blog too. Don't act like you haven't noticed. And while there may be some validity to the phrase, "You think you're always right," I believe it's a bit of a misnomer. Let's break it down:

If you're referring to factual information, then it's not true at all. Obviously, if I've heard a fact and comitted it to memory, believing it to be true, then I think I'm right about it. That does not, however, mean I'm not willing to investigate to find out whether I'm correct or not and it doesn't mean that I'm not willing to admit it when I turn out to be incorrect. I'd like to think that times when I feel sure about something, when I'd say something to the affect of, "I'm pretty positive," I turn out to be right more times than not. I haven't done a longitudinal study or any such nonsense though, so I can't really claim to know the percentages. I certainly don't claim to know everything or even most things and I've definitely been mistaken on many occasions. Britney Spears was, in fact, born in Kentwood, contrary to my feelings otherwise. I know more than some people, but less than a lot of people. I feel that I'm reasonably intelligent, but I don't have any proof of that, so I'll let you draw your own conclusions.

So maybe the phrase refers to issues of opinion. And, if that's the case, I'd say that it's mostly true. Changing the syntax to, "You always think you're right," might give it a bit more truthiness, but that's probably just splitting hairs. We'll work with the assumption that, "You think you're always right," is true when it comes to my opinion. And I ask, so what? Isn't that the case for everyone? If I didn't believe that my opinion was right, then it wouldn't be my opinion. If I didn't think I was correct in liking and respecting Fight Club, then I couldn't really like or respect Fight Club. If I didn't believe that Thrice had talent and wrote good songs, then I wouldn't listen to them or list them as one of my favorites. Truth is, everybody thinks their opinion is right. That's part of the definition.

I guess the problem comes in with the fact that I tend to vigorously defend my opinion. Unless it's something like, "asparagus is gross," I'll produce facts to support myself and logically argue as to why my opinion is the correct one. And it's fun. I enjoy it. I rarely get upset or frustrated. I'd say it's one of my favorite pastimes. I don't see how it makes me arrogant or mean.

The other thing that gets me in trouble is the fact that I tend to mock the opinions of others. But it's all in good fun. I swear. I don't honestly care that Bryan watches "Stargate" and loves "Resident Evil." It doesn't bother me that Maggie went to see Rascal Flats (even though their singer kinda' sounds like a girl). It's just good natured ribbing and, beyond my sister, I don't think I hurt many feelings.

Sure I'm "right," but everybody is in their own head.

I guess what I'm getting at is this:
I'm smarter than you in every way and all the music, books, movies and TV shows you like are crappy. I'm just a better person. Completely.

The end.

stuff on my mind

I was standing next to one of our new employees as he was ringing up a sale yesterday and cleared my throat. He looked at me and said, "I gotcha" and preceeded to sell an extended warranty on the product. That was good of course, but I actually just had congestion in my throat. It's funny to me that throat clearing has become so synonymous with trying to get a point across that you can't just clear your throat because it needs to be cleared anymore.

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I bought the new Dead Poetic cd the other day and, after one listen, it seems to be pretty good. Thing is, it's a big change in sound. They've gone from what most people refer to as "screamo" to a much more mainstream rock feel without a lot of screaming or punkish guitar riffs. That seems to be a bit of a trend right now. A lot of bands that had been lumped into the screamo category have since released albums that varied a great deal from their previous sound. Finch and The Used, two of the first screamo bands to get mainstream airplay released follow-ups that sounded quite a bit different than their debut albums. Story of the Year's second album had an 80's Bon Jovi feel to it. Thrice went with a more textured, varied sound on their latest and Thursday seems to be evolving slowly as a band rather than changing overnight, but their new disc only features one song with any real screaming. It seems that all the screamo vets are abandoning the sound and moving into other territories. The part of me that enjoys several of these bands would like to think that they're simply growing up and naturally changing as good bands tend to. The cynical side of me, however, wonders if it has more to do with record label execs telling the various bands that screamo is on the way out and they'd better get off the bandwagon while they still can. It reminds me a bit of the late 90's/early 2000's when rap-rockers like P.O.D. and Papa Roach, sensing that trends were changing, suddenly started singing. Of course, Papa Roach is still around while Limp Bizkit, who stuck to the rap-metal (when they aren't doing Who covers) sold about 25 copies of their last album. We'll see how things go for the current crop of hitmakers.

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I've been to a couple of parties thrown by fellow Christians lately and both of them featured, along with other snacks and drinks, alcohol spiked punch. And I don't see anything wrong with that at all. While I don't think it's right for a Christian to get drunk, I don't think there's anything in the Bible that prohibits a follower of Christ from having a glass of wine with dinner, champagne at a wedding, or a couple of cups of "adult punch" at a party. The thing is, at the second party especially, everyone seemed to be really excited about it. It's something I've noticed quite a bit. A lot of Christiasns, while they don't ever get trashed, are really, really into drinking and that seems weird to me. I mean, if you're not getting drunk, then it's just another beverage, right? I like Dr. Pepper a lot, but I've never spent an entire night standing around a two-liter of it or drinking it out of special glasses and trying out all sorts of different concoctions. It's almost like they get some sort of thrill out of it, like they feel more adult or are revelling in the fact that they're not legalistic. Or maybe people just like the taste. And maybe I'd understand if I ever drank. Maybe I'd be just like everybody else. I'm certainly not claming to be better than anyone or looking down on those that choose to drink. I guess I just don't get it.

the one thing I don't like to fight about...sort of

People say that the two things you're not supposed to discuss are religion and politics. I wouldn't say I disagree exactly since I understand where the expression came from, but, when dealing with reasonable, not very easily angered people, they can both be fun subjects to delve into. Anyone who knows me even casually knows that I'm usually up for debating just about anything. There's one subject, however, that I've learned over the years to avoid arguing about at all cost and it's one that relates to both religion and politics: abortion.

I say "over the years" because I've definitely been in a few ill-advised abortion debates in the past. I never managed to convince anyone even slightly and it's not just because their beliefs were so firm. The problem is that the debate all comes down to one question, and it's a question that no one really has an answer to. The whole issue hinges on when exactly life begins.

If you must know, I'm pro life. I don't bomb clinics or stand in picket lines and I'm very sympathetic for people who end up in situations where they feel like an abortion is their only option. But I would like to see abortion outlawed at some point in the future. None of that really matters though, because it's only my opinion, guesswork at best.

So many pro choice people claim that abortion has to remain legal because it's a women's rights issue. It's really not though. Yes, a woman should have a right to control her own body, but if a fetus is alive then the right of that living human to keep living supercedes the rights of its mother in the same way that parents don't have the right to kill their children at any other age. On the other hand, if a fetus is not a living creature, but simply a collection of cells, then abortion is no different than having a mole removed. On the pro life side of things, so many people try to make it a religious issue. The Bible doesn't specifically talk about abortion, though, or state at what exact point life begins. People try to say abortion is playing God or messing with his plan, but we do that so often in a million other ways. Even scientists seem to have different opinions on the matter. With so many conflicting ways to define "life," how could we ever come to a universal agreement on when it starts?

So I somewhat arbitrarily picked a time. I think life begins somewhere after conception but well before birth, which makes me pro life. Can I prove it? Not completely. I could come up with a good argument I'm sure, but I imagine, with a bit of effort, you or anyone else could come up with a rather compelling argument for your arbitrary time too. And that's okay. Pick your side. Stand firm. Argue with someone if you want. Just don't tell me that your decision is about women's empowerment or your relationship to the Creator or anything other than your gut feeling about what's right.

the immoral majority

"AIDS is not just God's punishment for homosexuals; it is God's punishment for the society that tolerates homosexuals" - Jerry Falwell

"And, I know that I'll hear from them for this. But, throwing God out successfully with the help of the federal court system, throwing God out of the public square, out of the schools. The abortionists have got to bear some burden for this because God will not be mocked. And when we destroy 40 million little innocent babies, we make God mad. I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People for the American Way -- all of them who have tried to secularize America -- I point the finger in their face and say, You helped this happen." - Falwell on who's to blame for 9/11

"Billy Graham is the chief servant of Satan." - Jerry Falwell

"Just like what Nazi Germany did to the Jews, so liberal America is now doing to the evangelical Christians. It's no different. It is the same thing. It is happening all over again. It is the Democratic Congress, the liberal-based media and the homosexuals who want to destroy the Christians. Wholesale abuse and discrimination and the worst bigotry directed toward any group in America today. More terrible than anything suffered by any minority in history." - Pat Robertson

"The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians." - Pat Robertson

"You know, I don't know about this doctrine of assassination, but if he thinks we're trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it. It's a whole lot cheaper than starting a war...We have the ability to take him out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability. We don't need another $200 billion war to get rid of one, you know, strong-arm dictator. It's a whole lot easier to have some of the covert operatives do the job and then get it over with." - Pat Robertson, calling for the assassination of democratically elected Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez


Am I the only one who's getting sick of those guys? It seems like every time I turn around, one of them is saying something bigoted and idiotic and in the process making Christians look bad. Because I'm a Christian and a republican, I end up being associated with them. The media acts like they represent my views, my thoughts. Obviously, they do not. And I don't think they actually represent many Christians at all.

Beyond God doing a miracle, I don't think there's any way to get Pat and Jerry to shutup. And of course I believe that they have the right to say whatever they want to say, no matter how horrible it may be. However, that doesn't mean that the media needs to keep giving them an outlet to say it. They keep putting those clowns on the air partially because crazy people make good TV, but partially I think they because they honestly believe that Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson speak for "evangelical Christians" (I hate that term, by the way). So how do we stop it? We show them that they do not speak for us and they do not speak for anyone. It's a small step and might not accomplish anything, but I started an online petition. Please sign it, whether you're a Christian or not, and let your friends know about it too. Somebody needs to stop these men from making us all look like hateful idiots.

Click here to sign the petition.

flash fiction

Whenever I try to follow the dotted line, I get lost somewhere between the dots. The shortest distance between point A and point B isn't a straight line when there's a chasm between them. I always end up falling somewhere around step three. Sometimes I'll make it to five if I'm lucky. Sometimes.

The box has gotten a bit dusty over the past three weeks. I cleaned up my apartment today, which meant I had to notice it. Not that I don't notice it anyway, sitting in the living room next to the fireplace. Sitting there. Collecting dust apparently.

I don't know what's in it. Nothing special I'm sure. At this point it's become the Pulp Fiction briefcase. Whatever's inside could never live up to the hype. So I let it sit there, don't even touch it. It's just an ordinary box: four walls and a roof, taped up with blue masking tape she brought home from her job. It's gained a life of its own now. Some mornings I make an extra bowl of Fruity Pebbles in case the box decides it's hungry.

Part of me wonders if maybe she left it on purpose. She hasn't asked for it. Not that we've talked. She's come online a couple of times from her parents' house, but she hasn't said a word to me. I'm afraid to break the silence. She cleaned out every other trace of herself while I was gone to work, even vacuumed her hair out of the carpet.

Maybe she wants me to open it. Maybe what's inside is important. It's a burmese python patiently waiting to end my life. It's pictures of her sleeping with all my friends. It's the teddy bear I bought her on Valentine's Day with a note saying she'll always love me.

I've never been this sentimental, so pathetically tied to my emotions. I should just leave it on her parents' doorstep. It's just some pots and pans or old sweat shirts. It's not important. It doesn't have power. It's just a box.

I'm watching one of those shows on E!, one of those "look how rich and better than you celebrites are" shows, the ones that make me sad to be American. The box is right there. Ten feet away. Five steps. I should throw it in the dumpster, take it to the country and burn it, cut it to shreds with a chainsaw. But I'll let it stay here for now. Maybe I'll use the box as a bridge to connect the dots, a raft to sail down the river at the bottom of this canyon. Maybe it's part of the metaphor, some sort of symbol for something. I so wanted to make it to step six this time, but my cardboard friend and I are stuck here at five.

NYC Pictures

This isn't an actual post. I just wanted to post links to the pictures from my vacation. Look at them.

album one
album two

more honesty

I wanted to add something I forgot to mention in my last post. Total honesty doesn't mean you always say everything that's on your mind. Remember that movie, Liar Liar? While it's one of Jim Carrey's funniest, it always bothered me because I didn't buy the premise. I'm okay with the kid's wish making it so that his dad can't lie, but that doesn't mean he has to say everything he's thinking in every situation. Every time I watch it, I find myself wanting to yell at the screen, "Just shut up!"

At any rate, I'm not advocating people saying horrible, mean things to each other simply in the cause of being honest. Sure, there are some things that people don't need to hear and there are ways to tell the truth in a nice way. I'm not against any of that. I just think too often we cross the line from being tactful to being deceiptful.